001 ♐ Voice ♐ I don't believe illusions 'cause too much is real

[codename_duchess]

[The communicator clicks on and catches the sounds of violent coughing and desperate gasps for breath, which swiftly turns into equally loud and violent shouting.] Ha ha, guys, great joke! Let Archer inhale water then dump his semiconscious body in this new place called the Middle of Nowhere while we wait for him to call for an extraction, because that’s really freaking funny! You know what else would’ve been hilarious? TAKING ME TO A GODDAMN HOSPITAL!

Seriously, I’ve got water in my ears. Do you know how annoying that is? It’s like having a piece of coral stuck in your scuba flipper, which I wouldn’t know anything about because you three took all the gear. Dammit, Lana! I did not skipper a submersible down to the bottom of the freaking ocean to be abandoned like a redheaded stepchild!

Oh hey, speaking of, is this one of Mother’s training exercises? Because great timing, this is classic her. Sure, her only child could use some help getting seawater out of his lungs, but let’s toss him out in a survival scenario instead, that’ll accomplish WAY more!

[There is a beat wherein the speaker appears to reconsider, and when he continues his voice is bewildered instead of angry.]

Where the hell am I, anyway? Helloooo, idiots?

Comments

[surrenders]

I don't think anybody knows where we're going, and home's a real long story.

[codename_duchess]

I've got time to listen if you've got time to tell.

[surrenders]

[She visibly leans back into a cushion to put a distance between them; even if they're not in the same room, she knows what body language means.]

You don't know why you're here, right? Means you got on the wrong side of the "space jail" part of this ship.

[codename_duchess]

[So does he, although his wishful thinking can extend pretty far.]

Yeah? And how do I get on the right side?

[surrenders]

I don't know you, so I can't say. All I know is I think the boss thinks you can be better than you are.

[codename_duchess]

Right. And when do I get to talk to this boss and correct this, let's face it, laughable oversight?

[surrenders]

You don't.

I don't like it either.

[codename_duchess]

I don't until tomorrow?