003 ♐ Video ♐ Give me a Boo, give me a B, give me an S

[codename_duchess]

[CW: Discussion of cancer]

[Guess what has two thumbs and is awake, Barge? And guess what’s also reasonably unperturbed by falling into a Barge coma? THIS GUY.]

So in case some of you idiots didn’t know, it’s October, which means in addition to pumpkin spice lattes and slutty Halloween costumes sold on every corner, it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. [Archer holds up a little pink ribbon; there’s another one pinned to the lapel of his suit.] Nobody should have to go through this disease, because except for the medical marijuana it freaking sucks. So show some support, guys, wear a ribbon. And if you haven’t gotten checked lately, run through the self-exam or hit up the doctors in the infirmary. I’m sure they’d be happy to help. [It says something about how serious he is that he doesn’t make any jokes about this. Not even a crack about mammograms.]

And speaking of slutty Halloween costumes, who’s throwing the party? Is it BYOB?

[Private; Rogue]
Uh, pub?

Pub.

Comments

Audio

[codename_duchess]

What, with honesty?

Audio

[megamind]

Yeah, uh. That. Since you know, the honesty factor's a little too-- honest.

Audio

[codename_duchess]

So, what, I should lie?

Audio

[megamind]

Lie? No. Be polite.

Audio

[codename_duchess]

So, lie.

Sorry, ladies, I stand corrected. Your battle gear is totally appropriate and not at all revealing for no discernible reason.

Audio

[megamind]

[ oh god he doesn't even ]

I'm thinking more that they can be revealing and not be... what you said.

Audio

[codename_duchess]

Uh, what's wrong with being slutty?

Audio

[megamind]

That's a really loaded, rude word!

[ Megamind can'y even bring himself to say it! ]

Audio

[codename_duchess]

Why?

[And here we resort to the Socratic method, AKA Archer acting like a toddler.]

Audio

[megamind]

Ask your warden.

Audio

[codename_duchess]

Uh, she fights in a freaking bomber jacket and I'm pretty sure she's a virgin.

Audio

[megamind]

Wha-- I--

Oh my god.

[ palming his face so hard now. ]

Never mind. Party good. Clothes and their wearer shaming bad.

Audio

[permutates]

Well, I would rather fight naked.

But there's a reason.

Audio

[codename_duchess]

So you're like... old-fashioned Celtic Warrior Lady?

Audio

[permutates]

The ones that painted themselves blue, you mean?

[ This is funny and you don't even know why because audio ]

Audio

[codename_duchess]

Those ones.

Look, I'm not trying to be creepy here, but do I get to watch you fight?

switching to video

[permutates]

I'm a little like them.

[ Not that she considers herself totally human. ]

You can't watch unless you're fighting with me or against me.

video

[codename_duchess]

[Well hello.]

With. Definitely with. Unless you're -- into that weird racial discrimination stuff in which case we might have a problem.

Hi. Sterling Archer. You're gorgeous.

video

[permutates]

[ oh stahp it u (don't stop keep saying things) ]

I'm a mutant. Depends on if you have a problem with that.

Audio

[megamind]

[ I'm sorry, the comment that was going to go here is only a squeak, because Raven's a lovely blue lady, and Megamind's committed, not immune to attraction to other people. ]

[ squeak ]

Audio

[permutates]

What?

[ i n n o c e n t ]

Audio

[megamind]

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Audio

[permutates]

It's easier. I can't change size with a jacket on.

Audio

[megamind]

No, no, I'm not going to argue to go, uh, to battle as you're comfortable! I'm not arguing with choice of clothing i mean-- come on, I swear a skin tight body suit and thigh-high platform boots.

I'm just- not okay with his word choice. It's rude!

Audio

[permutates]

I know. I mean there might be a reason to show skin that isn't seducing someone.