008 ♐ Video ♐ If you don't answer I'll just ring it off the wall

[codename_duchess]

Oh my God, it's like one of those random video chat sites. Any moment now, some dude in a trailer park is going to pop up -- phrasing, boom -- and start jacking off.

Hey. So, Sterling Archer here, ISIS agent, checking in from the worst way station. Anyone out there? Who is preferably not an idiot from work? Before replying, please check that you are A. Interesting. B. Hot, C. Funny, or D. All of the above.

And before you ask, no, this is not a voicemail. …Videomail. Shit, video answering service? Whatever you call it, it's not one of those.

Comments

[codename_duchess]

Are you sure? Maybe you're like a neo-Ent specially adapted to a semi-aquatic environment! Except - wait, no, we'd probably have to stick you in an Entmoot to see if you fit in. And that'd take years. So.

[madeofplants]

I do not... understand. Why... are you here?

[ You are a face in a pond, bro. It's kinda weird. ]

[codename_duchess]

Obviously to spread around the awesomeness! Duh!

[madeofplants]

Did the parliament... of trees... send you?

[codename_duchess]

Do I look like a freaking tree to you?

[madeofplants]

You look... like a man... I have never met.