009 ♐ Video ♐ 'Cause there's so many fine women that my head is spinning

[codename_duchess]

[Archer makes his cards pretty simple, and keeps them to the point. Everyone on board gets a red paper heart decorated with a handwritten "Happy Valentine's Day, idiot. -Archer" There are a couple of people who deserve more specific messages, though, so he adds a few postscripts.

To Rogue's: Thanks for not totally sucking.

To Catra's, whose card is notably devoid of the word "idiot": You're hot, I'm hot. This is awesome.

To Morgana's: Things you are probably aware of: you're gorgeous.

Steph's takes a little longer and he can't quite think of anything that sounds genuine or not creepy. So he finally settles for Sorry you've been through some shit.]

[The Sterling Archer who switches on the feed does not look like he normally does. Instead of a turtleneck or suit he's wearing a red leather chest harness as if it's entirely normal everyday attire, and instead of wearing his usual shit-eating smirk or irritated glare he looks… pensive. Calm. Oddly normal.

There's still a bottle of Scotch in his hand, though, because old habits die hard.]

Ah realize it's a couple days late, but… never got around to it earlier. Thanks for the party, never had one of those before. Mother always thought mah birthday wasn't as big a deal as her goddamn dog's. Sure was a helluva lot better than the other ones, no one even took mah car.

So, uh… we doin' anythin' for the single people here this V-Day?

[OOC: Archer now has Steph's empathy, Catra's dress sense, and Rogue's accent.]

Comments

[youwillgotohell]

[For whatever reason, his valentine is easier to respond to than the heartfelt ones she's received: it's simple, straightforward, and it even makes her smile. And roll her eyes, but that's a given.

Although given the video, she's not sure if she's baffled or entertained.]

What in the world are you wearing? [Maybe a little of both.]

augh I need to tag into that

[soliterraneous]

Interesting clothing choice.

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

[codename_duchess]

[Hey, Archer's card was heartfelt! He really does think Morgana's hot.]

Um. Clothes?

[codename_duchess]

Ah think it works.

Hey, it was a good time.

[youwillgotohell]

[She is, shockingly, pretty okay with that.]

Or lack thereof.

[codename_duchess]

What's wrong with that?

[youwillgotohell]

Somehow, I doubt you'll be embarrassed even when the flood ends.

[codename_duchess]

Uh, would you be embarrassed if you had this body? No. No ya wouldn't.

[youwillgotohell]

And to think I almost paid you a compliment.

Why are you speaking like your warden?

[codename_duchess]

Ya can go right ahead and do that now.

Oh, who remembers?

[youwillgotohell]

But you've already done it for me.

[codename_duchess]

Ah gave ya one too!

[youwillgotohell]

Do you did.

Is it a harness for armor?

[codename_duchess]

It would be if someone'd give me back mah gun!

[youwillgotohell]

I'm sure it would look very nice with the gun.

[codename_duchess]

What about without it?

[youwillgotohell]

[She makes a face that says 'I don't want to say anything but....']

A touch absurd. Maybe a cape would help. Do you have one?

[codename_duchess]

Do Ah look like the Phantom of the freaking Opera? No, Ah don't have a cape.

[this_corrosion]

What, did you lose a bet?

[codename_duchess]

Yer just jealous. Ah make this look good.

[this_corrosion]

I'll be the judge of that. Let's see the rest.

[youwillgotohell]

Then you might as well not be wearing the harness at all.

[codename_duchess]

So ya think Ah should be wearin' less.

[codename_duchess]

All right, but don't ya go all starry-eyed on me. I mean Ah know it's hard to resist but do yer best.

[Pan down. He's wearing matching, very tight leather pants and a pair of buckled combat boots that might be described as "fetish-y". ...It's a good color on him.]

[youwillgotohell]

You asked my opinion.

[codename_duchess]

[He just smirks. And unbuckles the harness.]

[youwillgotohell]

[She had a cave full of shirtless men, okay. She just arches her eyebrows and waits for him to get rid of it entirely.]

[this_corrosion]

I mean, it looks good if you're trying to look like a stripper.

[codename_duchess]

If Ah was tryin' to do that Ah'd be wearin' hotpants.

[codename_duchess]

[To his credit he does not actually do a striptease, just tosses it aside. There is pose-striking though (of course there is).]

Better?

[youwillgotohell]

[Of course he does.]

Much more fashionable.

[codename_duchess]

So ya like it.

[youwillgotohell]

Or maybe I didn't like the harness.

[codename_duchess]

Cooome on, you like it.

[youwillgotohell]

Hardly. Red leather looks ridiculous. [She is definitely being facetious.]

[this_corrosion]

Did you get vacuum-sealed into those?

[soliterraneous]

I can tell. [ Upward eyebrows go here. ]

It was. I have not participated in a celebration of birth or recurrent existence before.

[codename_duchess]

If ya want me ta take it all off, just ask.

[codename_duchess]

No, actually. You gotta ease into it.

[youwillgotohell]

If that was what I wanted, I would tell you.

[this_corrosion]

[Phrasing.]

Heard that before.