codename_duchess | 011 ♐ Video & Spam ♐ Baby please don't go down to New Orleans, I love you so, baby please don't go

[Video]
[Archer is on the deck, ready for action in his slightly darker black turtleneck, and he looks really freaking annoyed.] I need a warden to let Kazak and me into the CES. [He turns the communicator to show the "Kazak" in question, a placid-looking St. Bernard approximately two-thirds Archer's size. The dog barks in greeting, jowls wobbling.] Anyone who's close will be good. And why the hell is that thing locked anyway? Are you guys super-worried about letting inmates out for a diabolical game of fetch? Or bringing their pets in to take a piss somewhere that isn't their carpet?

[CES spam]
[Archer is in a boggy swath of land bordered by cypress trees somewhere inspired by Louisiana, throwing a stick approximately the size and width of his own arm. Kazak bounds after it, wandering through the grass to pick it up and bring it back except for those times when he finds something more interesting to retrieve. A frog, perhaps, or a turtle sunning itself.

At one point an alligator lazily surfaces in the muddy water and Archer jumps and calls the dog back with approximately the same desperation as a mother pleading for her child to press their way out of a burning building.] KAZAK, NO! COME BACK RIGHT NOW! GET AWAY FROM THAT GODDAMN GATOR!

[Once the dog is safely returned he tosses the stick far in the opposite direction, toward the door.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's the International Secret Intelligence Service, asshole. And for your information we've been up against el Frente Rojo, the IRA, North Korean terrorists, the KGB, ODIN, the Camorra, the Yakuza, and oh yeah, freaking space pirates. And guess what? I killed people from all of them! So shut your dickholster, idiot, you don't have a clue what you're talking about.