Sterling M. Archer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
codename_duchess) wrote2014-03-07 06:01 pm
codename_duchess) wrote2014-03-07 06:01 pm
Entry tags:
011 ♐ Video & Spam ♐ Baby please don't go down to New Orleans, I love you so, baby please don't go
[Video]
[Archer is on the deck, ready for action in his slightly darker black turtleneck, and he looks really freaking annoyed.] I need a warden to let Kazak and me into the CES. [He turns the communicator to show the "Kazak" in question, a placid-looking St. Bernard approximately two-thirds Archer's size. The dog barks in greeting, jowls wobbling.] Anyone who's close will be good. And why the hell is that thing locked anyway? Are you guys super-worried about letting inmates out for a diabolical game of fetch? Or bringing their pets in to take a piss somewhere that isn't their carpet?
[CES spam]
[Archer is in a boggy swath of land bordered by cypress trees somewhere inspired by Louisiana, throwing a stick approximately the size and width of his own arm. Kazak bounds after it, wandering through the grass to pick it up and bring it back except for those times when he finds something more interesting to retrieve. A frog, perhaps, or a turtle sunning itself.
At one point an alligator lazily surfaces in the muddy water and Archer jumps and calls the dog back with approximately the same desperation as a mother pleading for her child to press their way out of a burning building.] KAZAK, NO! COME BACK RIGHT NOW! GET AWAY FROM THAT GODDAMN GATOR!
[Once the dog is safely returned he tosses the stick far in the opposite direction, toward the door.]
[Archer is on the deck, ready for action in his slightly darker black turtleneck, and he looks really freaking annoyed.] I need a warden to let Kazak and me into the CES. [He turns the communicator to show the "Kazak" in question, a placid-looking St. Bernard approximately two-thirds Archer's size. The dog barks in greeting, jowls wobbling.] Anyone who's close will be good. And why the hell is that thing locked anyway? Are you guys super-worried about letting inmates out for a diabolical game of fetch? Or bringing their pets in to take a piss somewhere that isn't their carpet?
[CES spam]
[Archer is in a boggy swath of land bordered by cypress trees somewhere inspired by Louisiana, throwing a stick approximately the size and width of his own arm. Kazak bounds after it, wandering through the grass to pick it up and bring it back except for those times when he finds something more interesting to retrieve. A frog, perhaps, or a turtle sunning itself.
At one point an alligator lazily surfaces in the muddy water and Archer jumps and calls the dog back with approximately the same desperation as a mother pleading for her child to press their way out of a burning building.] KAZAK, NO! COME BACK RIGHT NOW! GET AWAY FROM THAT GODDAMN GATOR!
[Once the dog is safely returned he tosses the stick far in the opposite direction, toward the door.]
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Puppy play date. I'll let you in.
Also we don't let people in because you can totally use the CES to grow pot.
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Whatever. I deny any responsibility if Kazak eats one of your dogs.
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And hello idiot, I am the world's deadliest secret agent. This is an actual documented fact.
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Lassie, up.
[And Chris' own service dog bounds to the call, as he begins to pull on his legs]
Meet you down there, buddy.
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[Not for long. The friends who kill robots with bats together stay together.]
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We've got gods here? Fuck me, this place should be a lot easier to escape than everyone says it is.
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