003 ♐ Video ♐ Give me a Boo, give me a B, give me an S

[codename_duchess]

[CW: Discussion of cancer]

[Guess what has two thumbs and is awake, Barge? And guess what’s also reasonably unperturbed by falling into a Barge coma? THIS GUY.]

So in case some of you idiots didn’t know, it’s October, which means in addition to pumpkin spice lattes and slutty Halloween costumes sold on every corner, it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. [Archer holds up a little pink ribbon; there’s another one pinned to the lapel of his suit.] Nobody should have to go through this disease, because except for the medical marijuana it freaking sucks. So show some support, guys, wear a ribbon. And if you haven’t gotten checked lately, run through the self-exam or hit up the doctors in the infirmary. I’m sure they’d be happy to help. [It says something about how serious he is that he doesn’t make any jokes about this. Not even a crack about mammograms.]

And speaking of slutty Halloween costumes, who’s throwing the party? Is it BYOB?

[Private; Rogue]
Uh, pub?

Pub.

Comments

[codename_duchess]

Chris.

Shut your dickhole and watch. The. Movie.

[mistconduct]

No.

[Dropping back down against the pillow, Chris pulls his covers over his head, pointedly ignoring Archer]

Go away now.

[codename_duchess]

Chris.

[mistconduct]

[codename_duchess]

Chris.

[mistconduct]

[codename_duchess]

CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

[mistconduct]

WHAT?!

[codename_duchess]

Did you watch Regis this morning?

[mistconduct]

What the fuck?

No. No, I didn't. We don't get cable here, idiot.

[codename_duchess]

God, this really is prison.

[mistconduct]

Yeeep.

[His head sticks out from under the blanket, tucking his chin over the edge]

Visiting hours are over, fuckhead.

[codename_duchess]

You realize I'm going to stay here and play it whether you like it or not.

[mistconduct]

You realize you can't force me to watch it.

[codename_duchess]

Well, you say that.

[mistconduct]

Get out of my fucking space, you James Bond knock-off!

[codename_duchess]

Hey! HEY. I am WAY better than that pussy excuse for a secret agent!

[mistconduct]

Uh, bull shit. You're like the guy that chases around the Pink Panther.

[codename_duchess]

He's not even a goddamn secret agent!

[mistconduct]

Neither are you, jackass!

[codename_duchess]

Oh my God, you are that stupid. If I'm not a secret agent, how did I get the assault weapons and grenades? How could I rampage my way through the Irish mob without getting arrested if I didn't have a license to kill?

[mistconduct]

...You're a rich, deluded psychopath?

Or Batman. Holy shit, are you Batman?

[codename_duchess]

Are you just now getting this?

[mistconduct]

....Nah. You're not Batman. You're a slightly more dickish Bruce Wayne with a hard-on for turtlenecks.

[codename_duchess]

I'm Sterling Archer, that's even better. Batman doesn't have the balls to shoot people.