020 ♐ Video ♐ Coming back from the edge of town underneath their feet

[codename_duchess]

[CW: mention of cancer]

For those of you who don’t know me, hi. Sterling Archer, ISIS top agent, world’s most dangerous spy. And if you don’t believe that ask Bond, since I beat the shit out of him. I’ve recovered nuclear material, assassinated enemy agents, fought arms dealers, space pirates, killer cyborgs, the Yakuza, North Korean terrorists, and the KGB. I’ve been poisoned, declared legally dead, beaten breast cancer, and been shot twenty-two times – all before I got on the Barge. Long story short, I am a huge badass.

My adventures on the Barge are pretty awesome too but I don’t need to tell you that. Chris, Rogue, and Morgana can do that for me – right, guys?

Anyway, chalk up another tally in the badass column: I, Sterling Archer, have beaten the Barge. [Check out his brand-spanking new shower stall and redwood Japanese soaking bath!] Check it out, dickwads, I graduated! And it only took me a couple months. …Several months. Less than a year. So I’m going to go home to keep kicking bad guys’ asses and also check in on Lana. Because she’s pregnant and that’s kind of a big deal.

…The point is, I’m badass.

Rogue, you promised me a goddamn cake.

Comments

[lastrat]

I did have a bullet in my shoulder at the time.

[mistconduct]

Well, holy fucking shit. You did it faster than me, man.

Fuck.

[ichoosefight]

Hah! Congrats, Archer. [ Boy, this is a surprise. ]

[strangehistorian]

Congratulations!

[la_belle_rogue]

Ah did promise a cake, didn't Ah.

[It is not actually a question. She is smiling so hard her face is going to hurt soon.]

Do Ah gotta wait until it's baked ta come give ya a hug?

[youwillgotohell]

[She smiles. She's smiling more easily, lately.]

Congratulations, Sterling.

[It's been a while since she could offer that, here, without a hefty dosage of bitterness.]