codename_duchess: (Remember the Rock-Eater?)
[personal profile] codename_duchess
[CW: mention of cancer]

For those of you who don’t know me, hi. Sterling Archer, ISIS top agent, world’s most dangerous spy. And if you don’t believe that ask Bond, since I beat the shit out of him. I’ve recovered nuclear material, assassinated enemy agents, fought arms dealers, space pirates, killer cyborgs, the Yakuza, North Korean terrorists, and the KGB. I’ve been poisoned, declared legally dead, beaten breast cancer, and been shot twenty-two times – all before I got on the Barge. Long story short, I am a huge badass.

My adventures on the Barge are pretty awesome too but I don’t need to tell you that. Chris, Rogue, and Morgana can do that for me – right, guys?

Anyway, chalk up another tally in the badass column: I, Sterling Archer, have beaten the Barge. [Check out his brand-spanking new shower stall and redwood Japanese soaking bath!] Check it out, dickwads, I graduated! And it only took me a couple months. …Several months. Less than a year. So I’m going to go home to keep kicking bad guys’ asses and also check in on Lana. Because she’s pregnant and that’s kind of a big deal.

…The point is, I’m badass.

Rogue, you promised me a goddamn cake.
ichoosefight: (this school's a HOLE at best)
From: [personal profile] ichoosefight
Am I seriously the first? We'll have to schedule a barge wide etiquette lesson.

Date: 2014-09-01 06:19 pm (UTC)
ichoosefight: (i am who i am)
From: [personal profile] ichoosefight
Now there's a frightening though.

Date: 2014-09-01 11:51 pm (UTC)
ichoosefight: (so detective what brings you here?)
From: [personal profile] ichoosefight
I don't know if I trust your standards of 'nice'.

Date: 2014-09-02 12:26 am (UTC)
ichoosefight: (🌱 lol)
From: [personal profile] ichoosefight
[ She laughs. ] That's one definition, I guess.

Date: 2014-09-02 01:05 am (UTC)
ichoosefight: (fond)
From: [personal profile] ichoosefight
Archer, sweetie.

That is not what 'nice' means.

Date: 2014-09-02 02:27 am (UTC)
ichoosefight: (look how much we have in common!)
From: [personal profile] ichoosefight
It means being actively actually nice to people.

Date: 2014-09-02 03:14 pm (UTC)
ichoosefight: (look how much we have in common!)
From: [personal profile] ichoosefight
Only the nice ones.
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