codename_duchess: (That is classic mother)
[personal profile] codename_duchess
Seriously? Is that what everyone was so excited about, a bunch of people going nuts because someone messed with them? That happens everywhere! Why the hell didn’t you guys tell me about the goddamn Victorian city I was doomed to wander around, complete with my own freaking Hobbes?! I mean, we didn’t exactly have any sled conversations, but it was pretty obvious someone was playing around with the Calvin thing. [Did we mention he‘s in the pub and holding a Scotch? Because he is and he sips at it now. Yes, he’s essentially drunk-dialing the Barge -- this is a pattern he will probably follow for the duration of his time on board.] Which reminds me, who do I talk to about getting a cat?

Or getting my liquor cabinet restocked. Or my gun locker. And don’t give me some bullshit metaphysical answer like “you can’t talk to who’s in charge” or “you just have to wait”. I am neither a deist nor a Supremes fan. Oh, you know what else is bullshit? Detaining prisoners without charges! I get that we’re doing Archer in Wonderland, what I don’t get is why!

[He fumes at the camera for a minute before taking another drink of Scotch, which seems to have a calming affect almost immediately.] Because if I don’t get to talk to someone official I’ll assume it’s parking tickets. That, or banging that stuntwoman on the hood of that cab. ‘Cause let’s face it, I haven’t really done anything wrong.

-- Oh, shit, this isn’t about Woodhouse, is it? Come on! He’s not even people!

Is there anything else about this shitshow I should know?
Page 3 of 6 << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] >>

Date: 2013-09-26 06:27 pm (UTC)
mistconduct: (dad you're freaking me out)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Dude, what's wrong with her?

Date: 2013-09-26 06:32 pm (UTC)
mistconduct: (how do you do sir)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Like, fucking ages. I'm in the infirmary. Not a lot of shit to do.

Date: 2013-09-26 06:33 pm (UTC)
lastrat: (what you see)
From: [personal profile] lastrat
It's a risk we're running. Why don't you make yourself useful and knock on some wood?

Date: 2013-09-26 06:50 pm (UTC)
halftheman: (Are You Serious?)
From: [personal profile] halftheman
Can't say that I know which Ray you're going on about.

Date: 2013-09-26 07:01 pm (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] chilling on the porch)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Whaaat a bitch.

Date: 2013-09-26 07:07 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (devil)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
I can do you booze and I'll consider a cat. No guns.

In return I want you and Mister Dent to mudwrestle in very brief shorts for me. Chris can referee.


[Straight face.]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:11 pm (UTC)
halftheman: (WTF Is That?)
From: [personal profile] halftheman
[ THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU; Harvey's just left staring because what do you even say to say. ]

[ Beyond 'oh hell no'. ]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:11 pm (UTC)
mistconduct: (dad hug time)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
I was confirming, douchewaffle.

Date: 2013-09-26 07:12 pm (UTC)
halftheman: (What Just Happened?)
From: [personal profile] halftheman
Alright, then. Who the hell is Ray?

Date: 2013-09-26 07:12 pm (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] checking out my blazer?)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Yes to the New Guy, no to Dent.

[private/video]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:13 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (Default)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
[Iris winks at him. Shhh, just trolling the newb.]

[private]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:14 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (o rly)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
We kind of made friends while you were gone.

[private]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:16 pm (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] eyebrow cocked)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
IRIS!

[private/video]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:17 pm (UTC)
halftheman: (Are You Serious?)
From: [personal profile] halftheman
You'd fit in at Arkham. With the Joker.

[ This is not a compliment. ]

[private]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:17 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (Default)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
...what. It's what we're 'ere for.

I'm not shagging 'im or anything. That'd be weird.

[private/video]

Date: 2013-09-26 07:19 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (Default)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
Not my kind of fun, lovey. Anyway you started it.
Page 3 of 6 << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] >>

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