010 ♐ Video ♐ Now today is tomorrow and tomorrow today, and yesterday is weaving in and out

[codename_duchess]

[Backdated to earlier today]

[The first thing that's visible is a close-up of a bright blue cat's eye. It pulls back, showing that it belongs to a sleek, short-haired lilac-point Siamese. She looks distinctly unimpressed, aiming an unamused stare at the communicator before turning to speak.] You're on, Sterling.

Shut up. [Archer grabs the communicator and glares down at it. A few notes: he's dressed in Victorian clothing, a very fine waistcoat and cravat; he's speaking with an English accent; and he is uncharacteristically badly-groomed, all messy hair and rumpled sleeves. There's also the talking cat.] Is this a joke? Since you've somehow managed to abduct me here, the least you could do is make sure the accommodations are livable. Look!

[He pans the camera over his cabin, which is just as modern and fancy as it normally is. It just looks lived-in, bed unmade and clothes thrown on the floor, a few books and empty bottles on the tables.] See? Filthy! I've seen neater huts built by savages on primitive islands. If this place is meant to be so special, one would think there'd be staff.

Somebody get a maid in here. You don't want me to contact my mother.

Comments

[la_belle_rogue]

Oh. Good. You're fine.

[This sure has been a flood. So she's glad he isn't too different. ]

[codename_duchess]

Fine? Fine? I've been imprisoned in a squalid cell, by soulless freaks! Nothing about this is fine!

[la_belle_rogue]

Our souls are currently on the inside, sugah. And the door is unlocked. Ya can leave yer room any time ya like.

[codename_duchess]

A likely story.

But I can't get anywhere I need to go, can I?

[la_belle_rogue]

Only for a few days. Till then, make yerself at home. Try ta avoid the pale fella in full plate. He's bein' testy.

[codename_duchess]

Then within a few days I expect to be moved to better accommodations.

[la_belle_rogue]

In a few days, you'll be home.

[codename_duchess]

Well I'd better be!

[force_captain]

[Talking cat you say?]

So who are you now?

[codename_duchess]

Um, do you not know?

[force_captain]

Not at the moment.

[codename_duchess]

[Whoa, tits. Okay, Archer just got a lot more amenable to this conversation.]

Sterling Archer, global explorer. Charmed. And you are --?

[force_captain]

[They're an excellent tool. She wields them well.]

Well, at least your name hasn't altered. I'm Catra. We've met, though you can't recall at the moment.

[codename_duchess]

[Very well indeed - and Archer can quit looking anytime he wants.]

Have we. And what happened when we met?

[Private]

[force_captain]

[She switches to the private filter, because she does have other conquests on this ship. No need to rub their faces in it.

She smirks, and points with slender finger, indicating behind him on the screen.]

I put those gouges into your head board.

[Private]

[codename_duchess]

[A deeply pleased look settles on Archer's face and he smirks at her, interest and newfound admiration apparent.]

You must have amazing fingers.

[Private]

[force_captain]

[She displays her hand, as if admiring her nails, which she totally is.]

You've yet to complain.

[Private]

[codename_duchess]

[Archer studies her hand, his smile growing a little sharper as he imagines what she's done to him with it.]

Why would I?

[Private]

[force_captain]

Why, indeed.

[She smiles, all smug.]

Now that we're reacquainted, do tell me about that remarkable little companion of yours.

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[ichoosefight]

Dude.

Your cat talks.

[ CAPTAIN OBVIOUS TO THE RESCUE. ]

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[codename_duchess]

[Archer stares. As does Zelle. This is perhaps the dumbest question they've heard this week.]

Of course she talks!

I'm not a cat.

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[ichoosefight]

Are you a- [ what did Kevin call it ] a demon?

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[codename_duchess]

I'm not a daemon, idiot, she is!

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[ichoosefight]

I was talking to the cat.

[ Wow she never thought she would say that out loud. ]

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[codename_duchess]

[Hang around Archer a little more - the regular one - and talking to cats will become a normal thing.]

Of course I am. What did you think?

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[ichoosefight]

I wouldn't know. With this flood being so random, you could totally just be a talking cat.

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[codename_duchess]

I have a name, you know.

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[ichoosefight]

Oh, crap, I'm sorry.

Hi, I'm Steph. What's your name?

[ And why do daemons need other names? ]

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[codename_duchess]

Zelle. [She flicks her tail, lifting her head rather regally. Or haughtily. She is Archer's daemon after all.] Are you going to stare all day?

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[ichoosefight]

No, just long enough to be rude, apparently.

So, Archer, did you find the bar yet?

[ Always a safe topic with him. ]

[this_corrosion]

Is that

Why are you

[Nope. No. Comment deleted. He's hit the limit for weird shit today.]