013 ♐ Video ♐ I'm writing this letter and wishing you well; Mama, we all go to hell

[codename_duchess]

[Archer's been thinking. Running around teasing the flooded passengers was a good distraction, but his talk with Rogue has stuck in his mind. So this time he looks a bit more somber, although no more sober than usual. He's sitting on his bed, tie undone, sipping a gin and tonic with Kazak sprawled out behind him.]

Hey, I just have a question.

Is it uh - shit. [He falters, uncharacteristic for him.] Is it normal to hate your mother?

Comments

Private;

[codename_duchess]

She paid for all my upbringing and stuff? And now I work for her at ISIS.

Private

[codename_duchess]

I don't know who my dad is.

Private

[this_corrosion]

Well, whatever, you're a secret agent! You don't need any of em. I only met mine the once, didn't make that much of a difference.

Private;

[youwillgotohell]

Then why do you hate her?

Private

[codename_duchess]

Yeah, but my mother's my boss. She's a former spymaster.

Private;

[codename_duchess]

I guess I don't, in a way. But she is a total bitch.

private

[codename_duchess]

Because she's a bad mom? I mean she left me alone with Woodhouse for like four years and I'm pretty sure he's not even human.

Re: Video

[velocette]

Well he was pretty convinced we all wanted to bed our mothers. I suppose you could argue that sex and hate aren't exclusive but... [He grimaces] The whole theory is rancid enough already.

Video

[codename_duchess]

Lana's pretty convinced about that too and she's also full of shit. I don't want to bang my mother.

Private

[this_corrosion]

Why'd you go work for her if you hate her?

Video

[velocette]

I believe that. [He actually does, too. It's very easy to tell when Archer means what he says, even if your hearing is muted.]

...Is your mother on board now?

[fire_punk]

No, shit!

[He takes a moment to think about the rest of it.]

If you want to kill her, I won't stop you. I did everything I could think of to make sure she couldn't hurt anyone else but...

[codename_duchess]

Yes, shit. I am the world's deadliest secret agent. I can take her out like that, providing she's vulnerable to a sniper rifle and - what, a silver bullet?

If not I could just hit her in the head with a pipe, whatever. You don't go around fucking little kids.

[fire_punk]

She's just normal. She doesn't even have her weather powers anymore.

[codename_duchess]

Uh, hello, she is not normal at all.

[fire_punk]

I didn't mean like that. I meant you don't need anything special to kill her.

Video

[codename_duchess]

No, luckily. Or everyone on board would be seduced by now.

[codename_duchess]

I don't? Awesome!re

[routemistress]

I'm the last person to know what's normal for 'ow to feel about parents, love. Does it matter? She didn't love you right or treat you right. That's good enough, in my book.

[fire_punk]

She's human. Of course you don't.

private

[ichoosefight]

That's a pretty good reason to hate her. [ But, uh... ] What makes you think Woodhouse isn't human?

Private;

[youwillgotohell]

Then tell me how. Tell me why you hate her, and why you don't.

Private;

[codename_duchess]

She's mean. When I was a kid she never spent any time with me. She was always off working and would stick me with Woodhouse for years at a time, or ship me off to boarding school for fifteen years. [Yup, not twelve. Fifteen.] And even when she was around she was a bitch. I'd wake up from nightmares and she'd lock her door to keep me out. She threw a party for her dog's birthday and made me clean the chimney. She didn't throw one for mine.

Also she's a total whore. It's gross.

But she's my mother, and - I dunno, I guess I love her anyway.

Private;

[youwillgotohell]

[She's quiet for a moment. Uther treated her better than that, in his good years - if they can be called that. He threw grandiose parties for her birthday, he was relatively available for her to argue with or ask questions of.

She loved him like a father, sometimes, before she knew he was her father. All the same.]

She sounds like a terrible mother.

Private;

[codename_duchess]

[It's hard to explain why, after all that, Archer still loves Malory so much. He does suspect she loves him: all the horrible mistreatment and neglect and negative reinforcement - Malory did it to toughen him up. To make sure he became exceptional. And she succeeded, didn't she? As dysfunctional as Sterling is, he's a formidable agent and person.

Just not a good one. She couldn't teach something she didn't know.]

Yeah. Duh and/or hello.