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codename_duchessSeriously? Is that what everyone was so excited about, a bunch of people going nuts because someone messed with them? That happens everywhere! Why the hell didn’t you guys tell me about the goddamn Victorian city I was doomed to wander around, complete with my own freaking Hobbes?! I mean, we didn’t exactly have any sled conversations, but it was pretty obvious someone was playing around with the Calvin thing. [Did we mention he‘s in the pub and holding a Scotch? Because he is and he sips at it now. Yes, he’s essentially drunk-dialing the Barge -- this is a pattern he will probably follow for the duration of his time on board.] Which reminds me, who do I talk to about getting a cat?
Or getting my liquor cabinet restocked. Or my gun locker. And don’t give me some bullshit metaphysical answer like “you can’t talk to who’s in charge” or “you just have to wait”. I am neither a deist nor a Supremes fan. Oh, you know what else is bullshit? Detaining prisoners without charges! I get that we’re doing Archer in Wonderland, what I don’t get is why!
[He fumes at the camera for a minute before taking another drink of Scotch, which seems to have a calming affect almost immediately.] Because if I don’t get to talk to someone official I’ll assume it’s parking tickets. That, or banging that stuntwoman on the hood of that cab. ‘Cause let’s face it, I haven’t really done anything wrong.
-- Oh, shit, this isn’t about Woodhouse, is it? Come on! He’s not even people!
Is there anything else about this shitshow I should know?
Or getting my liquor cabinet restocked. Or my gun locker. And don’t give me some bullshit metaphysical answer like “you can’t talk to who’s in charge” or “you just have to wait”. I am neither a deist nor a Supremes fan. Oh, you know what else is bullshit? Detaining prisoners without charges! I get that we’re doing Archer in Wonderland, what I don’t get is why!
[He fumes at the camera for a minute before taking another drink of Scotch, which seems to have a calming affect almost immediately.] Because if I don’t get to talk to someone official I’ll assume it’s parking tickets. That, or banging that stuntwoman on the hood of that cab. ‘Cause let’s face it, I haven’t really done anything wrong.
-- Oh, shit, this isn’t about Woodhouse, is it? Come on! He’s not even people!
Is there anything else about this shitshow I should know?
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:37 pm (UTC)That it's going to continue.
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:39 pm (UTC)You didn't seem to mind your daemon when you had her.
Most of these questions you can ask your warden, because the rest of us don't know.
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:41 pm (UTC)There! Was that so hard?
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:43 pm (UTC)[ Persons who ass he needs to kick: Archer, now on the top of the list. ]
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:44 pm (UTC)Like pulling teeth.
Who's Woodhouse?
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:44 pm (UTC)What warden?
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:46 pm (UTC)You probably don't have one yet.
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:46 pm (UTC)[COME AT HIM BRO.]
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:49 pm (UTC)My valet. So nobody.
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:50 pm (UTC)No shit.
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:52 pm (UTC)And how am I supposed to know if some unfortunate got saddled with you yet?
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:52 pm (UTC)Wouldn't surprise me if that had something to do with your attendance here.
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:56 pm (UTC)I wouldn't trust you with a cat that can't speak, you seem barely able to feed yourself to begin with.
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-26 05:58 pm (UTC)[He swivels the camera to show a lounging marmalade tom cat. The Emperor is being helpful only because Archer asked about the cat first. And also because he wants to watch Archer prevail upon Iris for favors.]
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Date: 2013-09-26 05:59 pm (UTC)Chris Who? Farley?
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Date: 2013-09-26 06:01 pm (UTC)