008 ♐ Video ♐ If you don't answer I'll just ring it off the wall

[codename_duchess]

Oh my God, it's like one of those random video chat sites. Any moment now, some dude in a trailer park is going to pop up -- phrasing, boom -- and start jacking off.

Hey. So, Sterling Archer here, ISIS agent, checking in from the worst way station. Anyone out there? Who is preferably not an idiot from work? Before replying, please check that you are A. Interesting. B. Hot, C. Funny, or D. All of the above.

And before you ask, no, this is not a voicemail. …Videomail. Shit, video answering service? Whatever you call it, it's not one of those.

Comments

Big Steph

[ichoosefight]

Hard as it is to use that checklist on myself, I'm pretty sure I qualify. I mean, I have to hit at least one of those even if you don't like puns , right?

[couldnotstopfordeath]

I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you on the jacking off score, Agent Archer. Though I daresay some of the idiots from my work would oblige, if you asked nicely.

Where would you be calling from, exactly? Only that's definitely not the ISIS extension.

[umgekehrt]

All of the above.

[Have a smile that makes strong man cringe and a face like a crumbling cement wall.]

I'd have remembered a face like yours. The barge's time must be nearly even with mine this time.

[97percent]

[The face on-screen startles, hands flying off her keyboard in the middle of work, and leans in to gape at the message. She hisses urgently over her shoulder to an unknown third party.]

I think we have a virus, Mma.

And what are you doing in our confidential files?

[madeofplants]

What... is the purpose... of this message?

[ The lump of plant mass speaks with a voice like a tree, slow and creaking. ]

[this_corrosion]

All of the above!

Not going to jack off for you, sorry to disappoint.

[anythingiwant]

[What an idiot.]

Y'know you're just beggin' ta get harrassed like that.