013 ♐ Video ♐ I'm writing this letter and wishing you well; Mama, we all go to hell

[codename_duchess]

[Archer's been thinking. Running around teasing the flooded passengers was a good distraction, but his talk with Rogue has stuck in his mind. So this time he looks a bit more somber, although no more sober than usual. He's sitting on his bed, tie undone, sipping a gin and tonic with Kazak sprawled out behind him.]

Hey, I just have a question.

Is it uh - shit. [He falters, uncharacteristic for him.] Is it normal to hate your mother?

Comments

[routemistress]

Depends on the mother, in my experience.

[codename_duchess]

If you only knew mine.

[routemistress]

You're a bit of a plonker, but you're basically all right. I don't see you hating anyone for no reason.

[codename_duchess]

Please. I am an erudite and amazing gentleman. And I don't hate people for no reason so you're half right.

[routemistress]

Good enough. Any road, you're allowed to hate 'er. Honestly, this boat makes me grateful I never met me parents sometimes.

[codename_duchess]

Yeah, but she's my mother. [This is a point he can't get past. The train of thought brakes to a halt.]

It doesn't have anything to do with the boat.

[routemistress]

So? Doesn't absolve 'er from treating you decently.

Most of the people 'ere 'ave 'ad parent trouble, I mean.

[codename_duchess]

Yeah, except it does. She's allowed to do that.

[routemistress]

Archer, my love, I don't know what she did and I'm not asking, but take it from me - birthing someone's not carte blanche to treat 'em like shite. No excuses.

[codename_duchess]

...people can raise their kids the way they want.

[routemistress]

No, they bloody can't. Well, in practise they actually can, 'cause too often no one stops 'em. But that's a whole other person you're raising, and they're not obliged to love someone that treated 'em wrong.

[codename_duchess]

But what if you do anyway?

[routemistress]

Loving someone doesn't 'ave to mean accepting everything they ever did as right.

Archer. You're an adult. Sit down with Rogue or with one of our counsellors 'ere and take it apart, strand by strand. She might've loved you; that doesn't mean she did right by you. She might not 'ave loved you; and that's not your fault. If you take one thing to 'eart today make it that: it's not your fault.

[codename_duchess]

Yeah, I know. If you asked me to list off things Mother's done right, I. Can't get past the first one.

That's... not what I thought. [He doesn't think. Did he ever believe it was his fault? Or was it always just sucky and he got used to it?]

[routemistress]

[Iris nods.]

Kiddies tend to internalise whatever's their normal. Expect it to be normal for everyone. They feel unloved or unwanted, they go with it being their fault; 'cause that's the closest they can get to 'aving any control over it. It's not as scary as understanding the person in power over 'em's liable to go off on them for no reason they can influence.

What d'you think made your mum 'ow she was?

[codename_duchess]

That's going down a dark tunnel to Hell that no man should have to brave.

[routemistress]

No, well, fair enough. The important thing to take on board is it's 'er problem. It's not on account of anything you are or you've done: she's just bad at being a mum.

Which I'm sorry you 'ad to deal with, I am.

[codename_duchess]

Yeah, I do know it's her problem. She's pretty much just a bitch by nature. An alcoholic promiscuous super-whore bitch. [Yes, Archer has just described himself as well as Malory. No, he is not aware.] And, y'know, that's on her.

Just. She's my mother. So is this... normal?

[routemistress]

I'm the last person to know what's normal for 'ow to feel about parents, love. Does it matter? She didn't love you right or treat you right. That's good enough, in my book.