codename_duchess: (YES IDIOT I DO)
[personal profile] codename_duchess
[The communicator clicks on and catches the sounds of violent coughing and desperate gasps for breath, which swiftly turns into equally loud and violent shouting.] Ha ha, guys, great joke! Let Archer inhale water then dump his semiconscious body in this new place called the Middle of Nowhere while we wait for him to call for an extraction, because that’s really freaking funny! You know what else would’ve been hilarious? TAKING ME TO A GODDAMN HOSPITAL!

Seriously, I’ve got water in my ears. Do you know how annoying that is? It’s like having a piece of coral stuck in your scuba flipper, which I wouldn’t know anything about because you three took all the gear. Dammit, Lana! I did not skipper a submersible down to the bottom of the freaking ocean to be abandoned like a redheaded stepchild!

Oh hey, speaking of, is this one of Mother’s training exercises? Because great timing, this is classic her. Sure, her only child could use some help getting seawater out of his lungs, but let’s toss him out in a survival scenario instead, that’ll accomplish WAY more!

[There is a beat wherein the speaker appears to reconsider, and when he continues his voice is bewildered instead of angry.]

Where the hell am I, anyway? Helloooo, idiots?

[text]

Date: 2013-09-21 02:28 pm (UTC)
routemistress: i nicked this off Tumblr (graphic)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
please, like the pussy parlour ever let a govt. tell them what to do.

check the network. srsly, can't do barge 101 right now.

[text]

Date: 2013-09-21 02:37 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (devil)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
only a few, for heavy lifting and to look good at office parties.

that's what I said. only with more bollocks.

[text]

Date: 2013-09-21 02:42 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (ya rly)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
can't go wrong with a good oldfashioned fuck.

this is text so you can't see how I said that with a perfectly straight face, but I tell you, you'd have been impressed.

[text]

Date: 2013-09-21 02:51 pm (UTC)
routemistress: (face)
From: [personal profile] routemistress
oh, you will, sweetheart. you will.
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