006 ♐ Voice ♐ The party don't start till I walk in

[codename_duchess]

[This time, Barge, you do not get treated to the sight of Archer's face. This is because his recent coma just saw his initiation into another grand Barge tradition: being drawn on while passed out.]

Okay so that's not the first time I've spent a holiday passed out, but it still kind of sucks. At least I missed the community koombayah where everyone goes around saying what they're thankful for. Spoiler alert, nothing.

Are there still leftovers? Is the Wild Turkey gone?

If not, and if anyone needs me, I'll be in the spa and then Rogue's bathroom. With the door locked and the radio on. And the hot water running. For several hours.

Jesus, you guys are like a bunch of frat kids.

Comments

[ichoosefight]

Doesn't stop it from topping the list, douchebag. For Christ's sake, at no point was there any accusation of you having sex with anyone! It was a goddamned joke, and it was not a rape joke because sexual assault is never funny. I'll be a bitch if I fricken' feel like it but I do have a soul.

[ It's just a very angry soul that needs an excuse to let off some steam. ]

[codename_duchess]

Okay, first of all, I don't know what part of joking about me having sex with prepubescent girls isn't a rape joke. Secondly, like you said, it isn't funny. Third, I'm like -- honestly offended you think I'd possibly be interested in you. Fourth, shut the hell up and go take your teenage angst out on someone who gives a shit.

[ichoosefight]

I was not joking about you having sex with prepubescent girls.

[codename_duchess]

Then what the hell were you joking about.

[ichoosefight]

How fucked up the multiverse is. In addition to the fact that I don't actually know where you come from or what fucked up laws they might have. Plenty of places don't even have laws about consent. More places do but don't care.

[codename_duchess]

I'm from New York, genius, where the age of consent is 18 and people who break it are freaking felons. But hey, I guess I should cut you some slack. My accent's totally impossible to place.

[ichoosefight]

New Jersey. 16. And I'm 17, also for the record. And so far all my friends except maybe one are from alternate wacko universes.

[codename_duchess]

So what? Doesn't mean I'm going to go around banging underage girls.

[ichoosefight]

[ SIGH. ]

But it might mean that things are different. Hence the 'alternate' part. No allegations were made against you, just your freaky deaky version of the world.

[codename_duchess]

Well whatever, don't involve me in your creepy little-kid sex universes. I'm not from one of those. My universe is totally normal. [Because, you know. Living with absolutely no physical injuries after being shot nineteen times is totally normal. So are the cyborgs.]

[ichoosefight]

Noted. Next time I'll make sure to limit myself to making fun of your accent.

[codename_duchess]

Good! Jesus. Way to get me into the holiday spirit, I am now literally thankful for you shutting up.

[ichoosefight]

Happy to help. Nobody with half a brain really likes the holidays anyway.

[codename_duchess]

Is this the bid wherein you attempt to show me you have half a brain?

[ichoosefight]

No, this is the bid where I'm bored and irritable and you happen to be talkative.

[codename_duchess]

Oh great. Be sure to tip your waitresses, I'll be here till Monday.

Or whenever freaking Rogue will open her freaking door and let me use her freaking bath!

[ichoosefight]

I don't know her, but if I were the one who drew on your face I wouldn't help you wash it off for at least a day.

[codename_duchess]

Yes, yes, we know. We've established that you're a bitch.

[ichoosefight]

It's no fun if I don't get to rub it in.

[codename_duchess]

Go rub on things that don't involve me.

[ichoosefight]

Now you're just trying to provoke me.

[codename_duchess]

And you're not even trying to resist the temptation.

[ichoosefight]

I'm positively incorrigible.

[codename_duchess]

Or just not very witty.

[ichoosefight]

Now that was below the belt.

[ She is very witty thank you!!! Spoiler is an excellent superhero name. ]