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codename_duchess[Sitting on a wooden platform high up in a tree, surrounded by the miniature ursine natives and illuminated by torchlight, Archer beams.]
These guys are awesome! [Archer slings an arm around the nearest native and pats him on the shoulder, laughing heartily. The native in turn pats his arm before slipping out of his grip.] Seriously, this is like the best camping trip I’ve ever been on. I don’t care what anyone says, they know how to party. Rogue’s all like “ya don’t know what yer gettin’ in for, Archer.” With teddy bears.
That said, they do have pointy sticks. BUT. They don’t use them if you share your stuff. Come on by and surrender your candy bars and booze. The candy bars are for them, the booze is for me.
These guys are awesome! [Archer slings an arm around the nearest native and pats him on the shoulder, laughing heartily. The native in turn pats his arm before slipping out of his grip.] Seriously, this is like the best camping trip I’ve ever been on. I don’t care what anyone says, they know how to party. Rogue’s all like “ya don’t know what yer gettin’ in for, Archer.” With teddy bears.
That said, they do have pointy sticks. BUT. They don’t use them if you share your stuff. Come on by and surrender your candy bars and booze. The candy bars are for them, the booze is for me.
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Date: 2014-08-14 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-14 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-14 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-14 02:20 am (UTC)[He reaches over, picking up one of the smaller bears, and showing it to Archer]
-IS NOT PADDINGTON.
THIS IS A FERAL CREATURE AND-
[Wait, hang on, he's upset all the rest who are now bludgeoning him with sticks. A+ move, Chris]
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Date: 2014-08-14 05:20 pm (UTC)[But he's not totally heartless, and whistles to one of the bears to get its attention. He hands it the bottle of vodka, and it peels off from the group.] I told you, give them stuff!
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Date: 2014-08-15 02:35 am (UTC)Shut up and save me, asshole!
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Date: 2014-08-16 05:41 pm (UTC)[True to his word, Archer reaches into the tiny ursine fray and grabs Chris, pulling him up to carry him in a firefighter's lift.] Now! Go-Go Gadget rocket boots!
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Date: 2014-08-16 09:48 pm (UTC)I'm not Inspector Gadget!
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Date: 2014-08-18 05:51 pm (UTC)[Now that Chris is out of reach, the natives begin to turn their wrath and sticks on Archer, beating him from waist to feet.] Ow - ow - ow - ow - HEY! WE WERE COOL THREE MINUTES AGO, WINNIE!
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Date: 2014-08-19 02:38 am (UTC)[he seizes on a nearby stick one of the natives is waving, yanking it upwards and dragging the unfortunate bear with it]
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Date: 2014-08-19 04:09 am (UTC)[When Chris drags the stick Archer wiggles, shaking the bear off before he makes a break for it.] Okay, hold on tight - you big fucking pussy. [It's about 20 feet to the ground and Archer jumps over the edge of the platform, landing on his feet - and is immediately pelted by rocks the natives throw.]
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Date: 2014-08-19 10:56 am (UTC)[Chris hugs the stick and Archer's shoulder, giving a yelp first at the fall and then when he's smacked in the shoulder with a rock]
Oh, shit. Oh shit, they're pissed.