006 ♐ Voice ♐ The party don't start till I walk in

[codename_duchess]

[This time, Barge, you do not get treated to the sight of Archer's face. This is because his recent coma just saw his initiation into another grand Barge tradition: being drawn on while passed out.]

Okay so that's not the first time I've spent a holiday passed out, but it still kind of sucks. At least I missed the community koombayah where everyone goes around saying what they're thankful for. Spoiler alert, nothing.

Are there still leftovers? Is the Wild Turkey gone?

If not, and if anyone needs me, I'll be in the spa and then Rogue's bathroom. With the door locked and the radio on. And the hot water running. For several hours.

Jesus, you guys are like a bunch of frat kids.

Comments

[codename_duchess]

Do you know how to fuck off?

[ichoosefight]

Wow, I think it's a little early in the relationship for you to be asking those sorts of questions. Jail bait much?

[codename_duchess]

Wow, unoriginal and presumptuous much?

[ichoosefight]

No, you're right. I have no idea what the age of consent is where you're from. I just hope it isn't any younger than 14.

[codename_duchess]

That's funny. Because I gotta say, I have no idea what the social climate is like where you're from if your idea of an appropriate insult is accusing someone of rape.

I'd say I feel sorry for you, but let's be honest. You're being a total bitch.

[ichoosefight]

You're really sadly confused if you think dirty jokes are on a level with rape.

[codename_duchess]

Accusation of rape. What the hell is wrong with you?

[ichoosefight]

Hold on, I've got a numbered list around here somewhere. 'Dead' was at the top.

I was accusing you of flirting with someone whose age you don't know, you self-important prick. And for the record, the social climate in Gotham was pretty crappy the last time I checked. Gang war in the streets didn't help.

[codename_duchess]

Well join the freaking club, Queen of the Damned. That's only true for half of us.

Um, okay. At what point did I flirt with you? And yeah, that freaking sucks. Still not enough to make me feel sorry for a kid who thinks it's funny to accuse people of statutory rape.

[ichoosefight]

Doesn't stop it from topping the list, douchebag. For Christ's sake, at no point was there any accusation of you having sex with anyone! It was a goddamned joke, and it was not a rape joke because sexual assault is never funny. I'll be a bitch if I fricken' feel like it but I do have a soul.

[ It's just a very angry soul that needs an excuse to let off some steam. ]

[codename_duchess]

Okay, first of all, I don't know what part of joking about me having sex with prepubescent girls isn't a rape joke. Secondly, like you said, it isn't funny. Third, I'm like -- honestly offended you think I'd possibly be interested in you. Fourth, shut the hell up and go take your teenage angst out on someone who gives a shit.

[ichoosefight]

I was not joking about you having sex with prepubescent girls.

[codename_duchess]

Then what the hell were you joking about.

[ichoosefight]

How fucked up the multiverse is. In addition to the fact that I don't actually know where you come from or what fucked up laws they might have. Plenty of places don't even have laws about consent. More places do but don't care.

[codename_duchess]

I'm from New York, genius, where the age of consent is 18 and people who break it are freaking felons. But hey, I guess I should cut you some slack. My accent's totally impossible to place.

[ichoosefight]

New Jersey. 16. And I'm 17, also for the record. And so far all my friends except maybe one are from alternate wacko universes.

[codename_duchess]

So what? Doesn't mean I'm going to go around banging underage girls.

[ichoosefight]

[ SIGH. ]

But it might mean that things are different. Hence the 'alternate' part. No allegations were made against you, just your freaky deaky version of the world.

[codename_duchess]

Well whatever, don't involve me in your creepy little-kid sex universes. I'm not from one of those. My universe is totally normal. [Because, you know. Living with absolutely no physical injuries after being shot nineteen times is totally normal. So are the cyborgs.]

[ichoosefight]

Noted. Next time I'll make sure to limit myself to making fun of your accent.

[codename_duchess]

Good! Jesus. Way to get me into the holiday spirit, I am now literally thankful for you shutting up.

[ichoosefight]

Happy to help. Nobody with half a brain really likes the holidays anyway.

[codename_duchess]

Is this the bid wherein you attempt to show me you have half a brain?

[ichoosefight]

No, this is the bid where I'm bored and irritable and you happen to be talkative.

[codename_duchess]

Oh great. Be sure to tip your waitresses, I'll be here till Monday.

Or whenever freaking Rogue will open her freaking door and let me use her freaking bath!