codename_duchess: (Remember the Rock-Eater?)
[personal profile] codename_duchess
[Sitting on a wooden platform high up in a tree, surrounded by the miniature ursine natives and illuminated by torchlight, Archer beams.]

These guys are awesome! [Archer slings an arm around the nearest native and pats him on the shoulder, laughing heartily. The native in turn pats his arm before slipping out of his grip.] Seriously, this is like the best camping trip I’ve ever been on. I don’t care what anyone says, they know how to party. Rogue’s all like “ya don’t know what yer gettin’ in for, Archer.” With teddy bears.

That said, they do have pointy sticks. BUT. They don’t use them if you share your stuff. Come on by and surrender your candy bars and booze. The candy bars are for them, the booze is for me.

Date: 2014-08-12 03:17 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] unfair!)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
What do I look like, the Rainforest Cafe?

Date: 2014-08-12 03:41 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] annoyed)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Dickhead.

[But he goes clunking up after Archer, muttering to himself]

Date: 2014-08-12 03:44 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] you talkin to me?)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Did you just wait until I got up here to say that to me?


...Yeah, sure.

Date: 2014-08-12 11:36 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] you serious?)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
You serious? Corduroy?

[Chris grins, shaking his head and taking the bowl]

God, you're weird.

[But he sits down to drink it anyway]

Date: 2014-08-14 01:24 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] no no my friend)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Which one is Berenstein?

Date: 2014-08-14 01:40 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] over the shoulder)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
You're a goddamn idiot, Archer.

Date: 2014-08-14 01:47 am (UTC)
mistconduct: (bros to the end)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Yogi. Boo-Boo. Baloo. The Sexual Harassment Panda.

Date: 2014-08-14 01:51 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] LOOK AT THIS SHIT)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
You don't even have real bears!

Date: 2014-08-14 01:58 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] none of you bitches move!)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH, ASSHOLE.

Date: 2014-08-14 02:10 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] whining)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
BEARS AREN'T A RACE.

Date: 2014-08-14 02:14 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] the fuck you say?)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
OH, NOW YOU'RE BRINGING RELIGION INTO IT?!

Date: 2014-08-14 02:20 am (UTC)
mistconduct: (grab a weapon)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
THIS-

[He reaches over, picking up one of the smaller bears, and showing it to Archer]

-IS NOT PADDINGTON.

THIS IS A FERAL CREATURE AND-

[Wait, hang on, he's upset all the rest who are now bludgeoning him with sticks. A+ move, Chris]

Date: 2014-08-15 02:35 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] LOOK AT THIS SHIT)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
[Covering his head with his arms, Chris falls to the fetal position, huddling down for protection]

Shut up and save me, asshole!

Date: 2014-08-16 09:48 pm (UTC)
mistconduct: (fight me bitch!)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
[From over Archer's shoulder, Chris snarls back]

I'm not Inspector Gadget!

Date: 2014-08-19 02:38 am (UTC)
mistconduct: ([unmasked] he's talking to me)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
Fucking run, Archer! And don't fucking drop me!

[he seizes on a nearby stick one of the natives is waving, yanking it upwards and dragging the unfortunate bear with it]

Date: 2014-08-19 10:56 am (UTC)
mistconduct: (oh fuckshit)
From: [personal profile] mistconduct
What'd you call me?!

[Chris hugs the stick and Archer's shoulder, giving a yelp first at the fall and then when he's smacked in the shoulder with a rock]

Oh, shit. Oh shit, they're pissed.
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